Movie Review – Cosplay Fetish Battle Drones (2015)

Cosplay Fetish Battle Drones
Directed by Gregg Golding
Courtesy of CAV Distribution
Release Date: February 10, 2015

cosplay

Say what you will, but I’m still a fan of the Power Rangers after all these years. Sure, the show is kinda corny, but they’re so much fun to watch, even after all of these different iterations. So when I first heard about COSPLAY FETISH BATTLE DRONES, I thought, “Sure, I’ll give it a shot. Why not?” But I wish now that I hadn’t thought to do so. I spent 90 minutes of my life on this film that I’ll never get back.

If you are not familiar with COSPLAY FETISH BATTLE DRONES, here is the plot synopsis courtesy of CAV Distribution:

It’s Morphin’ time! There’s a tumor in the collective unconscious, and it’s up to 6 young people to draw on its power to become the Struggled Reagans! Armed with Metaphysical super powers, a giant robot, and perverse sexual fetishes, they can defeat an ancient Hindu god and his googley eyed monster…Right?

COSPLAY FETISH BATTLE DRONES is a hallucinatory journey to the throbbing and cancerous heart of 21st century nostalgia; a frenetic collage of pop culture ephemera that weaves together everything from Eastern mythology and post modern philosophy to oversexed tokusatsu warriors and time-traveling hip-hop musicians.

I can usually find something positive to say about every movie I watch, no matter how horrible it is. Sometimes the camerawork is pretty good, or the actors do a good job, or even the story itself is decent. But this film puts me in an awkward spot, because there’s not a single plus side to it anywhere.

COSPLAY FETISH BATTLE DRONES looks like it was shot on a low-end 80s VHS camcorder. Needless to say, the picture quality is terrible. The sound is ok, but still slightly muted in places. The lighting is also acceptable, but certainly not good.

The acting is bad and corny, so much so that it’s painful to watch. I did not find a single character I could relate to or even like, so the entire cast annoyed me throughout the film. I knew going into this that each character was a damaged individual, but this group garners neither sympathy nor emotional interest. In turn, I spent most of the 90 minutes watching the clock instead of watching the film.

The special effects are a joke, and even if they were meant to be cheesy, they fail in that aspect as well. They simply made me angry. I get this is a low-budget film, but more effort would have gone a long way.

COSPLAY FETISH BATTLE DRONES is simply an awful movie, all the way around. At times, I couldn’t tell if it was meant to be campy or serious or trying to make a social statement, but it falls way short in all regards. I would steer clear of this one.

MSB

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